Friday, June 20, 2008

One month.


It was so good to hear your voice on the phone yesterday. One month ago today you went back to live with your mom. Don't worry, I understood your mixed feelings about it, your desire to be with the one who brought you into this world, your loyalty to her and fondness of her, and yet your fear and uneasiness about going back. When I picked you up from school that last day to take you there, you quickly brushed away a couple tears with your fists, wanting so badly to be a brave boy. You are brave. You've been through a lot in your short life, growing up much faster than you deserve. You are one of the brightest six-year-olds I know, and I pray that that will always shine through your circumstances, that you learn to follow your dreams and that you grow up to be a man with integrity and purpose.


Sometimes when I walk by the door to your old room, I just lean on the doorframe and grow lonely, wanting to hear your giggle, wondering what you are up to this summer. People always ask about your chameleon painting on the wall, and I tell them it was made by a cute and talented little artist. I miss your toothless smile, and I miss your dinnertime prayer that you always so innocently ended with "This is me, Jonathan. Amen." I miss watching you and Winn race to see who could buckle their seatbelt first whenever we would get in the car, and I miss passing your bedroom door at night and seeing you sleeping soundly, with Sajak on the floor by your bed, your hand dangling down and burried in his soft fur. I think he misses you, too, and sometimes I still find him sleeping on the rug next to your bed. You changed our home, changed our lives, and taught us many lessons in the short time you were here. Thank you.

6 comments:

jessicalolene said...

That is why we (ie James) could never do what you and Winn did. This post was beautiful and almost made me cry!

Ang said...

anyone got a tissue?

Peggy said...

Oh, Betsy. I'm crying.

Abbi said...

Okay it did make me cry! I rather feel the same as Jessica, I don't think I could do it.

Hester said...

It made me bawl like a baby. You and Winn have such big hearts and such bravery to put your hearts on the line like that. I hope the little guy has a smoother ride from here on out.

reb said...

Even though I know that Jonathon is tucked away in the very bed pictured on this posting, I still cried.