Sunday, November 11, 2007

A Guide For Short People (Part 2)

Written by Bob Blanshan, the younger

Being 5'11" myself, I appreciate my brother's humor. Hope you get a giggle out of it as well. (To see "A Guide For Short People, Part 1", click here.)


So many young short people dreamed of playing for the NBA and had their hopes dashed. However, there are a number of competitive fields that are advantageous for the Shorts. Here are a few:

Plumber (The less plumbers have to bend over, the better it is for us all.)

Miner (Any job with low ceilings is going to give short people an advantage.)

Sewage Worker (This is especially good for the workaholic as sewage work often leaves you up to your ears in work.)

Shoe Polisher (This has great job security because most people have shoes.)

Jobs That Involve Flying (Try sitting in a plane with long legs.)

Foot Doctor (Even better job security; almost everyone has feet.)

Tailor (There must be jobs in this field because evidently all clothes are made by short people.)

Submarine Sailor/Jet Pilot (Both are occupations where you are not allowed to be over a certain height.)

Tunnel Rat (Another military job. Basically you go into an enemy tunnel, kill the enemy, and blow up the tunnel. They only allow Shorts, and the Shorts can have it.)

Astronaut (Astronauts are not allowed to be over 6 foot, 4 inches.)

Roller Coaster Designer (Roller coasters are obviously designed by short people because I am not allowed to ride the best roller coasters.)

If you had your heart set on athletics, don't give up. There is still hope. Here are some sports that give short people an advantage: Limbo, Jockey, Weight Lifting (if you are short, you don't have to lift as far), Professional Hide-and-Go-Seek, Dodgeball, and Baseball (smaller strike zone).

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